Friday, May 9, 2014

I Think I'm Done

I thought I would come back from Spring Break ready to blog like a master.  I had planned a whole series of posts about modesty and I even wrote a few.  I came back and hit the ground running. I made some big decisions, dealt with a few crises (I just had to google the plural form of crises ;), helped some friends, cared for children and church folks...and I kept thinking about this blog.  I just didn't want to get into the whole modesty conversation.  So I didn't post.  I thought about covering one or two other topics.  I thought about telling you some of the absolutely hilarious happenings around here. I thought about expressing some of the deep sadness I am experiencing due to bad news from a friend.  I though about several different posts I could make....but I just didn't want to.  I think I am done blogging.  I have enjoyed blogging.  I have appreciated your feedback and encouragement. However, for now, I have said what I wanted to say.  Thanks for reading, commenting, and encouraging me.  God bless you.

Friday, March 21, 2014

A Remembered Thought

I am going to visit my folks for the week, and I am sooooo looking forward to seeing my parents and my brother and sister in love and their children.  I am not going to be blogging for obvious reasons, so I thought I would leave you a point to ponder.  And then get ready, because I plan to start a series sure to cause discussion. (Don't you just love a good teaser!)

While skimming through my past blog posts, I came across this statement......

           Recognizing our limits is not being is just being human.

Think about that.  Limits are not failures.  They are a fact of humanity.  Safety and reason demand we recognize them.  Curiosity challenges us to push them.  Arrogance claims there are none.  Fear screams they are insurmountable.  However you view them, it is true we all have them.  Humanity is limited, and I think it would be beneficial to sometimes stop and ponder this reality.  It is a humbling thought.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Charity or Drama

Okay, ladies, we have a choice to make.  Every day, especially women, have this choice to make.  Maybe it is because we are emotional creatures.  Maybe it is because we read body language as a language instead of listening to words.  Assuredly, we have this choice to make because we are sinners saved by the grace of a loving God. We have to decide if we are going to be charitable ladies or drama queens.

If we are a born again daughter of God, both of these characters reside within us.  Did you pay attention to that statement?  We are ALL drama queens.  We are ALL charitable ladies.  So as you read the rest of this, resist the urge to apply this to anyone but yourself.   "With what judgement you judge, ye shall be judged;" (Matthew 7:12 KJV)   Let us be careful to apply this to ourselves so that we might see ourselves clearly.

 The drama queen believes everyone is out to get her, that her actions are right and all who don't agree are clueless, and that so long as she is doing what is right for herself, she need not be concerned with how others are affected or even how others perceive her. She is known for her emotional outbursts and her quick and harsh judgement of other people.  She is easily offended and finds in needful to publish her offenses abroad, either by quick and violent outburst of tears or loud and explosive bouts of indignation.  If she is not reined in, she will eventually find that she has few friends left, and that they are all fellow drama queens.  She finds that contentment is elusive and is always looking for something new to come into her life and make all right. She is often unaware that she is a drama queen, thinking these characteristics apply to others, but not herself.

The charitable lady is ready, even anxious, to love people.  When people offend her, she is gracious in extending understanding and forgiveness.   She prefers to think any injuries done to her were the result of ignorance or were accidental.  She is ready to acknowledge her faults, often viewing herself as standing in need of improvement in many areas of life.  She is concerned with the well being of those around her and will often exhaust herself in her pursuit of helping others.  She exercises discipline over her emotions and is known as a level headed, calming, and often wise individual.  When she offends others, she is quick to make the wrong right, abasing herself, if necessary, to restore peace.  She keeps her tongue in check and is not considered a gossip.  Contentment is her frequent companion and her life is often filled with joyful moments.  She is surrounded by friend who flock to her for advice and comfort.  She is often unaware that she is a charitable lady, thinking these characteristics belong to others, but not herself.

As stated earlier, if we are born again, both of these women are part of us. It is up to us to decide which we will feed and which we will starve.  Yesterday, I let my drama queen out of her box and suffered through a pretty rough day.  The drama queen didn't change one of the difficulties I faced, it just made them harder for me to get through.  She didn't relieve one burden, but she added several.  By the end of the day, I was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to be left alone.  How much better would my day had been if I would have chosen to starve the drama queen, and to instead feed the charitable lady.  I would have had a busy day, maybe even a tough day, but I am convinced I would have had an easier day.  Perhaps, I might have even had a joyful day.

So today my goal is to put the drama queen back in her cage and to try and feed the other lady.  I want to recognize the opportunities I have to serve the Lord by serving others.  I want to assume that any offense I might experience today is committed by accident by those that don't know any better or were just misunderstood.  I want to pursue joy.  I want the words that proceed out of my mouth today to be gracious words.  I might not achieve all that I want today, but I am convinced I will be blessed in the pursuit.  I want to make a habit out of choosing charity over drama.  It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Peace.  Contentment.  Joy.  Yes, that is a life worth pursuing.  Care to join me?

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


Those of you who read my last post may be wondering if I am depressed or upset or something.  I want to assure you all that I am fine.  I just wanted to share some of my flaws.  We all have them.  We all have not so good thoughts about ourselves, our choices in lives, and the people around us.  We all have bad days when we are ready to quit.  The trick is to NOT DWELL on these things.

When we focus on the negative thoughts that assault our minds, we are likely to indulge in self-pity. Pity for self is one of the slipperiest slopes we can ever get on.  It leads to doubt, guilt, resentment, bitterness, anger, and eventually to destruction.  And the trickiest part of pity is that is starts out so innocently.  "I deserve better.  I owe it to myself.  I give and I give.  I just can't help it."  All of these statements are the baby steps that can lead to that path of destruction.  We should fight against these kind of thoughts all we can.

All those negative things I posted about myself yesterday are things I continually struggle against.  So even though I want to be left alone, I usually make myself available to those that I love, and by doing this, I have some of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.  When I feel guilty for wishing to be alone, I just stop and acknowledge that I am human, and don't answer my phone for a few hours and go take a hot bath.  While sometimes I feel I married too young, I am thankful everyday for every moment I have been blessed to spend with my husband and I wound NOT go back and do things differently.  I laugh at myself a when I have to google simple vocabulary words.  When I feel like I just can't cook one more meal for church, we order pizza.  And when I get too worried about how I look, I quote scriptures about vanity to myself.

Here is my point.  We all have our daily struggles.  For some , it is dealing with a difficult husband.  For some, it is feelings of inadequacy.  For some , it is struggles with attitude.  For some, it is a struggle with weight, or doubts, or fears, or...or....or....I could go on for ages.  We all struggle, and that it okay.  In fact, if we are struggling to overcome, we are doing well.  It is when we stop the struggle, and give in to the enticement of that slippery self-pity slope that we are in danger.    So keep fighting, friend.  Don't give up.  And know that you are not alone.  No matter how perfect someone's life looks on the outside, know that they too are facing a daily struggle to overcome.  Pray for them.  Pray for yourself.  And keep on, keepin' on.  One day, all struggle will cease, self-pity will be vanquished along with the rest of sin,  and we will enter in to rest beyond our wildest imaginations.

Confessions of a Not So Perfect Gal

Looking through my recent posts, it might appear to some as if I think I have all the answers, or that my life and marriage is just perfect.  Looking over several blog posts, I realized that some people might perceive me as a girl who "has it all together" or a woman who is really on top of things.  So, to dispel this false image or the idea that I see myself in that light, I would like to make today's post.

1.  There are times I just want everyone in my life to go away and leave me alone.  I want my husband to not talk to me, my children to not hang on me, and my friends to not come to me with their problems.  I just want to spend a weekend somewhere nobody knows me, on a beach with a good book would be ideal.

2. I feel guilty when I entertain those thoughts.  REALLY guilty.

3. I get tired of going to church sometimes.  Not of church itself, but of the getting ready and the wrangling of children and of the feeding of the brethren.  Especially the feeding of the brethren.  Sometimes, I just would rather stay home.

4.I lose my temper WAY too often, and it is ugly.

5.  I had to google whether I should use loose or lose in the above sentence.

6. I sometimes think I married too young.

7. I eat when I am stressed and as a result I am overweight.  I also don't exercise like I should.  I want to. I plan to.  I know what I should do. I just don't.

8. I sign up for things way to fast, and then resent the time and energy I have to put into the things I signed up for.

9. I like sleep.  A lot.

10. I am embarrassed with how I look.  Overweight.  Frumpy clothes. Ratty hair. Tired eyes.  I should do something about it, but I am too busy, or lazy, to do what would be necessary to fix it.

See, I am just like every other human on the planet.  I have some major flaws.  I have some pretty bad thoughts. I struggle with my daily tasks.  I fail often.

So if, on occasion, I post something that is beneficial, know that I do so only by the grace of God.  When I share a part of my day that went amazingly well, remember that I have left out a hundred not so great moments.  When I am able to share a lesson I have learned, rest assured I have learned it the hard way.  Above all, remember that we are all sinners trying to do the best we can in a difficult and challenging world, that you are not the only one, and that we all need mercy and grace every single day.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Stolen Moments

Tonight I danced with my husband in our living room.  Two songs.  A big laughing moment whose joke I will not share.  Kisses.  Hugs.

About 6 minutes of just us.

Exactly what we both needed after a tough week.

It doesn't take a lot of time or money to connect.  I have to stop what I am doing.  He has to stop what he is doing.  Usually, one of us has to stop the other.  And when we do, we fall in love again.  I remember that he is more than my provider and the father of my children.  He remembers I am more than his housekeeper and mother of his children.   I don't mind those roles, and he doesn't mind his roles...but we must remember that we are more than that to each other.  We are sweethearts.

Stolen moments are what keep us connected as a couple.  Yes, we are parents, and church members, and we have daily obligations we must fulfill together and separately.  But one day, Lord willing, he will retire.  The children will have their own homes.  It will just be the two of us.  And I want us to know each other, and love each other, and enjoy being together without all the distractions of life.  So, we steal moments.  Sometimes, just 6 minutes.  And we remember the person we gave ourselves to, and we give ourselves again.

" I am my beloved's, and he is mine."

Steal a moment with your beloved.  Dance to a song.  Sit in his lap.  Brush her hair.  Go look at the stars.  Fall in love again....and again.....and again.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Long View for Marriages

This quote from Ira Glass is what got me thinking about the long view.

I think this one also speaks well to this subject.

“Was it possible to love a man who made you feel ridiculous? Of course [.....], love was complicated, that was all. Or was love simple, and marriage was complicated? In seventeen years of marriage David had often left her feeling frustrated, and furious, and disgusted, yes - but he had also made her feel beautiful, and protected, and loved. And oh, what she would give to feel loved right now.” 
― Laura BrodieThe Widow's Season

If we commit ourselves to marriage as we should, we will have our spouse for a very long time.  Time enough for troubles to become lessons, for fights to become times of forgiveness, and for frustrations to become growing pains.  But we won't have them forever....just until we are parted by death.  So each day's blessings should be treasured, each chance for loving should be taken and given, and each moment of laughter tucked away.  The long view of marriage tells us that our troubles are small and our blessings are precious.  Now, if we can just keep this perspective as we live with our spouses every day.