Looking through my recent posts, it might appear to some as if I think I have all the answers, or that my life and marriage is just perfect. Looking over several blog posts, I realized that some people might perceive me as a girl who "has it all together" or a woman who is really on top of things. So, to dispel this false image or the idea that I see myself in that light, I would like to make today's post.
1. There are times I just want everyone in my life to go away and leave me alone. I want my husband to not talk to me, my children to not hang on me, and my friends to not come to me with their problems. I just want to spend a weekend somewhere nobody knows me, on a beach with a good book would be ideal.
2. I feel guilty when I entertain those thoughts. REALLY guilty.
3. I get tired of going to church sometimes. Not of church itself, but of the getting ready and the wrangling of children and of the feeding of the brethren. Especially the feeding of the brethren. Sometimes, I just would rather stay home.
4.I lose my temper WAY too often, and it is ugly.
5. I had to google whether I should use loose or lose in the above sentence.
6. I sometimes think I married too young.
7. I eat when I am stressed and as a result I am overweight. I also don't exercise like I should. I want to. I plan to. I know what I should do. I just don't.
8. I sign up for things way to fast, and then resent the time and energy I have to put into the things I signed up for.
9. I like sleep. A lot.
10. I am embarrassed with how I look. Overweight. Frumpy clothes. Ratty hair. Tired eyes. I should do something about it, but I am too busy, or lazy, to do what would be necessary to fix it.
See, I am just like every other human on the planet. I have some major flaws. I have some pretty bad thoughts. I struggle with my daily tasks. I fail often.
So if, on occasion, I post something that is beneficial, know that I do so only by the grace of God. When I share a part of my day that went amazingly well, remember that I have left out a hundred not so great moments. When I am able to share a lesson I have learned, rest assured I have learned it the hard way. Above all, remember that we are all sinners trying to do the best we can in a difficult and challenging world, that you are not the only one, and that we all need mercy and grace every single day.