Those of you who read my last post may be wondering if I am depressed or upset or something. I want to assure you all that I am fine. I just wanted to share some of my flaws. We all have them. We all have not so good thoughts about ourselves, our choices in lives, and the people around us. We all have bad days when we are ready to quit. The trick is to NOT DWELL on these things.
When we focus on the negative thoughts that assault our minds, we are likely to indulge in self-pity. Pity for self is one of the slipperiest slopes we can ever get on. It leads to doubt, guilt, resentment, bitterness, anger, and eventually to destruction. And the trickiest part of pity is that is starts out so innocently. "I deserve better. I owe it to myself. I give and I give. I just can't help it." All of these statements are the baby steps that can lead to that path of destruction. We should fight against these kind of thoughts all we can.
All those negative things I posted about myself yesterday are things I continually struggle against. So even though I want to be left alone, I usually make myself available to those that I love, and by doing this, I have some of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. When I feel guilty for wishing to be alone, I just stop and acknowledge that I am human, and don't answer my phone for a few hours and go take a hot bath. While sometimes I feel I married too young, I am thankful everyday for every moment I have been blessed to spend with my husband and I wound NOT go back and do things differently. I laugh at myself a lot....like when I have to google simple vocabulary words. When I feel like I just can't cook one more meal for church, we order pizza. And when I get too worried about how I look, I quote scriptures about vanity to myself.
Here is my point. We all have our daily struggles. For some , it is dealing with a difficult husband. For some, it is feelings of inadequacy. For some , it is struggles with attitude. For some, it is a struggle with weight, or doubts, or fears, or...or....or....I could go on for ages. We all struggle, and that it okay. In fact, if we are struggling to overcome, we are doing well. It is when we stop the struggle, and give in to the enticement of that slippery self-pity slope that we are in danger. So keep fighting, friend. Don't give up. And know that you are not alone. No matter how perfect someone's life looks on the outside, know that they too are facing a daily struggle to overcome. Pray for them. Pray for yourself. And keep on, keepin' on. One day, all struggle will cease, self-pity will be vanquished along with the rest of sin, and we will enter in to rest beyond our wildest imaginations.