Monday, May 20, 2013

The Right Way

Recently, I have had cause to reevaluate my life as a homemaker.  We have decided to send Hannah to public school next year, and thought we would be sending Daniel to pre-K.  (That has not worked out.)  So I thought perhaps this would be a good time for me to go back to school and earn my teaching degree.  I looked into colleges, course loads, costs.  I looked into job possibilities at our school that might come open in the next few years.  I made lists, researched, talked it over for hours with HBON.  And the more I thought about going back to school, the more steps I took in that direction, the bigger the sick feeling in my stomach grew.  Finally, I stopped to evaluate why I had such a bad feeling about going back to school.

I LOVED college.  The course work is fascinating.  I was the type of student who got excited every time I was assigned a paper to write.  The more my brain was challenged  the more fun I had.  So the idea of the classes I would have to take and the homework I would have to do if I went back to school excited me.  It was not the cause of my sick feeling.

The logistics of going back to school was looking to be something of a headache.  Applications for admissions, scholarships, and financial aid.... transferring of credits...taking the ACT again......headaches.  But I knew, just like any other new endeavor  getting started would be work, but once I was on the path most of that would fall into place if I just kept doing whatever was next.  So while I was not looking forward to the process, I wasn't anxious about it either.  Logistics was not the cause of my sick feeling.

Then I started thinking about the changes that would happen in my home.  What if the children were sick and I had a test that day?  What if my elderly mother-in-law experienced health problems?  What about all of the things the church depends on me to take care of?  What about all of the little things I do all day because I stay home that I would have to give up if I went to school?  I imagined my household during finals week, during the fall meeting season when school is in session, during the six months I would have to take an 8:00am class.  And the sick feeling in my stomach BLOSSOMED!!!

I thought perhaps I was scared of the change, but that didn't feel right.  I thought I was being lazy...worried about the extra work load...but that didn't feel right either.  So I prayed to understand why I was so bothered by these things, and almost immediately the scripture flooded my mind from Proverbs 14:12....."There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death."
WHAT??  Why is that the answer to my dilemma   What does that have to do with my going to school?  Everything.

The age difference between HBON and myself seems to suggest I will have to work somewhere for about 10 years to be provided for in my old age.  If my children are going to be in public school, I want to be as involved with the school as I can be.   Paying for school will only become more difficult the longer I wait.  It is logical to my natural brain for me to go back to school....but apparently, my spiritual brain says no....at least for now.  Something is telling me I am to stay home. There is not a good reason, at least to a natural way of thinking, for me to stay home, yet I have an impression to do just that. The main reason I decided to quit college and stay home when I go married is because the Bible says older women are to teach younger women to be keepers AT home.  I believe that this means my primary focus, effort, and energy is to be spent on my household, at my house.  I believe the Bible teaches that as the primary job of a married woman, yet when I look at the future it seems as if a teaching career would serve my family well.  I would be involved with my children's education and would know their peer groups.  The money would be a blessing, allowing us to do many things we want to while the children are home, and ensuring my husband's retirement at age 62.  So what is the answer?

"There is a way that seemeth right unto man, but the ends therof are the ways of death."  If I believe the Bible, and I do, then I believe the Spirit leads God's children.  I believe God speaks to us through the Bible.  I believe we will experience blessings when we follow His ways, and trouble when we don't.  And I believe we should walk by faith.  So even though it makes no earthly sense for me to stay home right now, that is exactly what I am doing.  I don't know how I will be provided for in my old age, but I believe somehow I will be.  I don't know how I will be able to be involved in my children's education, but I believe a way will present itself.  I don't know how we will pay for me to go back to school if that becomes necessary, but I believe that if that is the Lord's will, the money will be there one way or another.  I don't know what I may do in the future...if I will continue to stay home or if one day I will go to work.  But I know that for now it is best for me and my family that I stay home.  I know in my heart of hearts that is where God wants me, and THAT  is exciting.  I have never been so excited to be a homemaker! Sometimes walking by faith is scary, but this time I feel like I want to take a flying leap!  I can't wait to see what God will provide!

6 comments:

  1. Excellent EXCELLENT post! So glad that God is continuing to lead you and ElRay through His word.
    A

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  2. While I don't agree with much of this I respect your choice. I understand our beliefs are quite different as to the wife and mothers sole purpose. My personal beliefs are that our God expects us to prepare for the future if he presents the chance to do so we should take it. I hear people say they are doing things in faith and it makes me stop and ponder that statement. I have faith that Jesus died for me and I have faith that I am going to heaven. I also have faith that God expects his people to use what he gives them. I believe God will take care of me and my family, however, I know that in this world we are given free choice meaning He does not control our actions. This means that things can and do happen we cannot know are coming. As someone who is currently a student (about to become a teacher) and has 3 small children this post hits very close to home. The last 4 years have been hard (your idea of what getting your teaching degree will be like is accurate.) I have one more year to go and can't wait to be done. I cannot wait to be done to have more time to devote to my kids and husband, however, I know I have made the best choice (even though I have missed a few things along the way) because when I am done if something were to happen (my husband loose his job, die, or be hurt in some fashion) I could help support my children and husband. I feel like if I did not, if something happened and I was asking God to help me provide. God would ask me why I did not prepare when I had the chance. Again I am not saying your wrong and I totally respect that fact that you have talked with God about this. This is just my point of view. I am glad you are back, I have missed reading your post! Also I do hope you finally go back at some point, you would make a great teacher and we need more of those!

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    1. I understand that many people do not share my view of what the Bible teaches women's role in the home to be. It is an opinion that is viewed as antiquated by some, and demeaning by others. I find it to be neither. It is a wonderful blessing in my life to be at home. I have had the benefit of a stay at home Mom in my life, and I know what a stabilizing force that was for me growing up. I believe, strongly, that God's desire for me is to be here, and since I believe that, I would be foolish to pursue any other course of action. To me, daily walking by faith means we study God's word, pray diligently for understanding and leadership from the Spirit, and then do those things we have an impression to do...even if they don't always make sense.

      I too believe that God expects us to use what he has given us. The parable of the talents in the gospels teach us this. I don't think I am burying my gifts by choosing to use them at home, and I hope God will allow me to grow and abound as I serve my family and community from my home. If something terrible happened to HBON, I feel like God would know that I didn't go back to school because I was trying to serve Him. I think He would know my heart and not reprimand me in that hour of need. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that if I do my best each day to walk in the way He would have me to go, He will bless me with what I need. I truly believe that.

      I hope you were not offended by any part of the post or this reply. I hate when people judge others for the decisions made regarding the way we conduct our households, and I KNOW you are not judging me. Home school or public school, stay at home mom or working mom, whole foods or processed food.....too often the Christian community makes these decisions tests of believers' love for and devotion to the Lord. I HATE that. I hope all of us do our best to serve Him in our home to the best of our ability. I don't know all that goes on in someone else's home, heart, or life, but He does. If we are doing our best to serve Him, however that looks in our particular households, He will bless us. My walk as a Christian will not look the same as your's...nor does it have to. We are not called to follow each other...not to be "some of Paul and some of Apollos"....but we are called to follow Him to the best of our abilities. I hope God continues to bless you as you continue the hard work of obtaining your degree.

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    2. I totally get what you are saying I do not think any less of you for your choice. I think alot of homeschoolers (I was one). I think there are many different versions of christian faith and most of them all lead in the same direction. I would never judge you for your choice because its yours to make. I think staying home with your kids is a great choice I too had a mom that did that ;) I was only giving my point of view not implying that you need to change your view (sorry if it sounded that way). Its not that I find staying at home antiquated or demeaning. Mostly I find that it gives more power to one person over the other and I don't find that to be an equal relationship. I am not saying it does not work for many, and it would have been fine in our house too. I am talking in generalities here lol I think many women give of themselves to everyone until they have nothing left to give while never refilling from others. Its fine to want to support your church and family just not at the expense of your own well being. I have watched a dear lady who I love like a mother do this over the years and it breaks my heart. It is ok as people (man or woman) to take some time for ones self. Whether that be college or some other form of freedom. Good luck in being a stay at home mom, I am looking forward to being one myself this summer. P.S. Love being able to talk in a pleasant manner about these things with someone that did not think I was trying to say bad things! Thanks for that!

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  3. I am happy to read this post! I am sorry you had to struggle for your answer, but I am glad you have finally found peace.

    I'm sure you can relate to Noah as he was building the ark. He looked very silly to others because what he was doing made no earthly sense to anyone...not even himself. But he continued doing what God had told him to do, what God had given him a peace about, and he and his family were saved from the flood. I heard a sermon last night that made me think about how he might have felt AFTER he was sealed in the ark and realized his salvation. Maybe you will get to see your salvation someday, and maybe you won't, but keep on building that ark!

    BTW, Do you remember what Mom called her homeschool? Build an Ark Academy. She said felt like Noah building an ark when nobody in the world understood why.

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  4. AIMA left this comment, but for some reason it is not showing up. So I am reposting for her.

    I am happy to read this post! I am sorry you had to struggle for your answer, but I am glad you have finally found peace.

    I'm sure you can relate to Noah as he was building the ark. He looked very silly to others because what he was doing made no earthly sense to anyone...not even himself. But he continued doing what God had told him to do, what God had given him a peace about, and he and his family were saved from the flood. I heard a sermon last night that made me think about how he might have felt AFTER he was sealed in the ark and realized his salvation. Maybe you will get to see your salvation someday, and maybe you won't, but keep on building that ark!

    BTW, Do you remember what Mom called her homeschool? Build an Ark Academy. She said felt like Noah building an ark when nobody in the world understood why.

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