Be A Tortoise

We are all familiar with Aesop's fable involving the hare and the tortoise and their race.  The hare dashed out with all speed, gained a huge lead, and then laid down on the side of the road for a nap.  The tortoise plodded along at his slow, steady pace..never stopping until he had finished in first place.  The moral of the story is slow and steady wins the race.

Too often I am like the hare when approaching my daily tasks.  I get up, full of energy, and work like a mini hurricane for a few hours.  And then I stop.  I sit down to read a chapter, or check out one thing on the computer, or to just rest a few minutes.  I am usually worn out, a little stressed, and the feeling of being overwhelmed is lurking somewhere nearby.  The short break I was going to take turns into a hour and a half of wasted time.  So I jump back up and run around some more working fast and furiously.  I get tired.  I stop to rest and the next thing I know it is time to make supper.  I fly around the kitchen, throwing supper together, get everyone fed  and I stop.  So when I go to bed at night, the kitchen is dirty, the house has toys and the rest of the evening's activities strewn around, and I go to bed feeling like I worked all day to accomplish nothing.  I am a hare.

Instead, I should be a tortoise   I should work at a slow, steady pace on each task and should not stop until that task is finished.  I should not burn up my energies in a bright flash of productivity, but I should run at a slow burn that will last all day long.

I have a cousin in law whose great grandfather lived to be 114.  He was born in the late 1700's and died in the early 1900's.  He quit farming in his early hundreds even though he could still out work some of the field hands.  When asked the secret to long life he said, "Just take half a shovel at a time."  By that he meant that you don't lift as much or run as fast as you can, but that you lift a reasonable amount at a reasonable pace and your body is not broken down by over exertion.  Half a shovel full, all day long, will accomplish more than a whole shovel for a few hours with a long break in between.

It is like the man who lived in the city and was in a hurry to get to church.  He was running behind, and he pulled up behind an older brother from the church who was known for his slow pace on the highway.  Our harried brother whips into the other lane and passes our slow brother, only to be stopped at the traffic light.  The two are side by side, waiting for the light to change, and they wave at each other.  The light turns and our speedy brother stomps on the gas and flies up to the next red light.  The slow brother eases up beside him and smiles and waves.  The light turns and speedy races off again, and is stopped again by a light.  And the slow brother eases up again, and waves and smiles again.  This continues all the way through town until they arrive at the church one after the other.  They arrive at the same place, about the same time, but consider their journeys.  One was filled with stress, frustration, and exasperation  the other with relaxation  ease, and probably some amusement.

Slow and steady wins the race.  I want to be a tortoise   Hebrews 12:1 admonishes us to run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus.  With patience.  Slow and steady.  Not idle, but steady.  Be a tortoise.

image from wikipedia

Clarification

My last post about idleness has received no comments on this blog and only one private comment sent to other places.  However, this private comment, which I GREATLY appreciated, made it clear to me that I was unclear in my previous post.  I particularly think the following paragraph needs a further explanation.

So the Proverb is saying the virtuous woman does not indulge in, dream of,  focus on, center her thoughts and time around... idleness.  She doesn't work so that she can be done and read a book.  She doesn't have daydreams of soaking up some rays and sipping a cool drink.  Her money and efforts are not geared toward entertainment.  Instead, she looketh well to the ways of her household.  Her efforts, thoughts, attention, goals, and focus pertain to her household, not herself.


I do not think it is a terrible thing for a woman to take some time to read a book, enjoy a vacation, or get a manicure.  I do not think it is wrong for a woman to spend a night out with her girlfriends, to go on a walk by herself, or take a bubble bath.  All of these things are fine.....IF  they are not the focus of our life;  if we recognize that these blessings are luxuries and not the first things in our lives.  Contrast these two scenarios.

Our first woman does the dishes, laundry, cooks supper, and picks up the same toys every day.  The whole time she is working she is grumbling.  "I"ll never get this laundry done.  I hate cooking everyday.  I just want everyone to leave me alone.  Can't they pick up after themselves? etc"  All she wants to do is get through the mundane stuff so she can get to the best part of living....reading that book, or soaking in that bubble bath.  She tells the kids to get out of her way and go play so she can just get her work done.  When she finally does get to her free time, the children interrupt her and the third time they do, she snaps.  She tells the kids to just get out and leave her alone.


Our second woman also does the dishes, laundry, cooks supper and picks up the same toys every day.  The whole time she is praising God for the ability to be able to care for her family and for the fact she has a family to love.  "So long as there is laundry, we have clothes on our back.  Thank the Lord I have something to feed this crew for supper.  I need to spend a little time with these kids reading a book.  We need to work together as a family to pick up our mess."  All she wants is a happy, peaceful, well run household.  And when she sits down to read her book or take her bubble bath, she has peace and quiet because she has spent time with her children, tending them and her household.  

I have been both of these women.  The actions of washing the dishes, laundry, child care, etc are the same, but the attitude is sooooo different.  The difference is what they consider to be "real" living.  The first woman thinks times of relaxation are what life is all about.  She strives to relax.  The second woman thinks "real" living is finding the joy in everyday tasks.  She is relaxed.  The first woman's thought are centered on herself, the second on her household and her Lord.  The first woman's whole day is filled with vexation, but the second woman's day is filled with joy and peace.

I do believe taking time for yourself is important.  Charging our batteries is necessary to caring for those we love.   Vacations are marvelous opportunities to reconnect with those closest to us without the distractions that clog so many of our lives, and looking forward to that is understandable.  A day at the beauty shop is a blessing to be enjoyed for the sake of making ourselves more attractive to our husbands and releasing some of the tension that builds up in every woman on the face of the planet.  BUT, and here is the crux of this step, the reason for time to ourselves is to better serve our God and those He has blessed us to care for.  If we only find joy in our free time, we will be miserable. When the focus becomes to serve self....THAT is eating the bread of idleness.  When the statements "I deserve this" or "I've earned the right" enter into our heads, we should stop and examine ourselves.  Being idle is doing nothing.  Preparing yourself to serve others is not an exercise in idleness.  Serving yourself is.  

That is what I meant by bread being the sustenance or the thing that energizes us.  What attitude energizes me?  An attitude of service or of selfishness?  Fixing a bad attitude is hard, because we find so many ways to excuse our attitude. So my goal is to spend more time as woman number two, and try to tell woman number one to hit the road.  I hope this is a better explanation of this step. 

The Bread of Idleness

KJV Proverbs 31: 27 "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness"

When planning this series of baby steps in my mind, I thought I would probably focus on health matters as the second step;  exercising, eating right, not being a glutton.  But the above scripture has invaded my mind, and every time I turn away from it I feel wrong.  And I want to turn away from it.  I don't like this scripture.

That's a pretty terrible thing to say, isn't it?  But it is true.  I don't want to take this baby step.  I like my bread of idleness.  I work all day to achieve a few moments of idleness here and there.  I dream about being idle...doing nothing.  A perfect day would involve me, a good book, the beach, and someone to bring me refreshment whenever I snapped my fingers. Or it would involve my family having a day where all we did was play.  No meal prep, no discipline, no routine   Just doing what we want when we feel like it.  Idleness. Idleness is so....appealing.  So when the scriptures tell me that a virtuous woman does not eat the bread of idleness, I would just as soon skip that part.

But I can't.

If I believe that Proverbs contains infinite wisdom, and I do; if I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, and I do; if I believe that those who conform their lives to the word of God will live a more blessed and happy life, and I do;  then I can't hide from this scripture.

So baby step number 2 is to not eat the bread of idleness.

This does not mean the virtuous woman is never idle....I think (I hope I am not deceiving myself).  See, in those days, bread was used for sustenance   It did not require meat and cheese to form it into a meal.  The bread of Bible times was hearty, nutritious, and filling.  It was real food.  It sustained life.  To prove this point, consider John 6:48 (KJV) where Christ says "I am that bread of life."  Do you think He was saying "If you take me and add a little of this and a little of that you will have everlasting life"?  Or was He saying "I an the sustenance of everlasting life?"  I believe the latter.

So the Proverb is saying the virtuous woman does not indulge in, dream of,  focus on, center her thoughts and time around... idleness.  She doesn't work so that she can be done and read a book.  She doesn't have daydreams of soaking up some rays and sipping a cool drink.  Her money and efforts are not geared toward entertainment.  Instead, she looketh well to the ways of her household.  Her efforts, thoughts, attention, goals, and focus pertain to her household, not herself.

Isn't that really what idleness is about....self.  I'm too tired.  I deserve this.  I did my time.  All these statements are used to excuse idleness.  I....I....I......


So baby step number 2 is to not eat the bread of idleness, to look well to my household's ways, to keep busy, and to rest only when rest is needed, not so much whenever it is wanted.  And I need you, dear reader, to keep me honest.  If you disagree with what I have written above, please, let me know.  As I continue this series of post, if I seem reluctant to go where I need to, or if I am in flat out denial,  call me out.  My flesh has been fighting this step for days, and I am scared of deceiving myself.  So, please, in all seriousness, help me and pray for me.  This is not going to be easy.  I think I would rather diet, or get a root canal.  Okay, that is probably an exaggeration.  Probably.

The Conclusion of the Matter

I feel like it is time to move on to the next step, but before I do, I want to summarize my experience in taking this step.  First, waking up at 5:00 am every day is tough.  On days my husband has to be out of the door by 5:50 am, it makes sense.  On the days he stays home, it does not.  So we have decided to get up at 6:00 am on the days he is off, and at 5:00 am when he works. This seems to be a more realistic schedule, and we wake up happier all week long.

I LOVE waking up early.  I do not love getting out of my warm bed to step onto a cold floor, having a dream disturbed, or prying my heavy eyelids off of my eyeballs.  But once these steps have been taken, I enjoy the morning.  I enjoy time with my husband before he goes to work, a quiet house in which to read my Bible and pray, a peaceful hour to myself before the wrangling of children begins, and the feeling of starting my day on time.  I feel calmer all day long because I have had time to direct my thoughts above and to recognize that any trials I face today are little compared to the glory of heaven and the majesty of God.  I feel like praying in the morning has made my days smoother.  I don't know if it is because God has smoothed my path or if He has soothed my soul, but either way the days just go better when I stop and pray in the morning.  My family is happier, and so am I.

My previous routine involved sleeping until the children woke me.  I still had to get out of my warm bed.  My dreams were still disturbed upon awaking, and I still had to pry open my eyelids.  I spent no time with my husband before he left for the day. I haphazardly read my Bible between demands from children if I read it at all.  Morning prayers were a quick plea for help and patience.  I struggled to get my mind around everything I had to accomplish that day, and I hit the ground running, but always felt a step or two behind.  I felt stressed, short tempered, and overwhelmed.  I wanted to be left alone for a few days to just charge my batteries, and my emotions were very close to the surface making them harder to control.  I would get angry quickly,  snap, and then be encompassed in a sea of guilt.  I felt like I was failing my family.

When these two routines are contrasted, the choice seems pretty obvious.  You might think that after a few weeks to adjust,  I would just pop out of  bed and hit the ground running.  You might think that the benefits are so abundant that I would eagerly arise to start my day.  But I find that the reality is, every morning, I have to make a decision to not give in to the voices telling me I deserve another hour of sleep.  I have to decide EVERY morning to get up.  I have to decide to sacrifice sloth to gain peace.  I have to choose obedience, trusting blessings will follow.  I have found it to be so, but I still have to remind myself of that fact every time the alarm goes off.  Waking up is not easy, but it is good.  The words of this hymn say it better than I ever could.

Walk With God

from the Harp of Ages

 Darrene Nowlin Collins              Morris Nowlin

"I love the quietness of the morning, the peaceful beauty of the day.  I love to go into my bower and humbly bow my head and pray." 

"Oh what a joy and peace it gives me, to talk to Jesus in a prayer.  It gives me hope and consolation.  It lifts me from my every care."

"Things seem brighter in the morning, as God so boldly shows His face.  It makes me want to shout His praises, and thank Him for amazing grace."

"Oh, may His grace and mercy guide me, that when it's finished I can say, when the evening sun is setting, I have walked with God today."

A Small Setback

I woke up this morning at 2:30, 2:50, 3:15, 3:40, and 4:10.  My son had nightmares last night.  He is easy to settle back down, but he has them repetitively.  So when the alarm went off at 5:00, I almost bashed it against the wall!

I got up, made HBON's breakfast, packed his lunch, set out his Bible, and went back to bed until 6:45.  I decided sleeping another hour and twenty minutes would be a better choice that being short tempered with my children today.  Nap time is looked forward to, and bedtime tonight should be early.

Waking at 5:00 am is not easy.  I don't bounce out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I am not a picture of loveliness as I make breakfast and pack lunch and read my Bible.  And I am not real talkative.  But I am up.  And I am caring for my household.  And sometimes I will have to go back to bed.  All good things require sacrifice and discipline, and getting up is a good thing.  It is for my benefit and the benefit of my household.  So I will again set my alarm clock, hoping for a better night of rest.

KJV Proverbs 31:15 "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."

I am not the virtuous woman of Proverbs.  I would be a fool to try and claim I have in any way achieved a walk as godly as that woman.  But I do pray God will give me the grace and the ability to be more like her every day.

Blessings Already Realized

I have been waking up at 5:00 am for six days, and already I have realized some pretty significant blessings.  The first I would like to share with you is the blessing of time with my husband, and the effect it has had on his personality.  I must tell you that HBON (see previous post) is the most patient, kind, gentle, and long suffering man I have ever know.  I don't believe this is an exaggeration.  Those of you who know him can testify about his kind and gentle spirit.  What has been added to this man since I have started waking up, is a peacefulness that is contagious.

HBON's love language is touch.  He needs a hug, a held hand, a kiss, and a cuddle on a regular basis to feel loved.  When I wake up with JUST enough time to get things together for him so he can rush out the door, there is NO TIME for anything more than a quick peck and a harried or groggy I love you.  When I don't wake up at all before he leaves the house, he doesn't even get that!  What a terrible way to send my warrior out to face the days dragons!

Instead, our mornings have turned into a time of togetherness.  The alarm goes off, and we have time for a few moments of snuggling before getting out of bed.  I get up and get breakfast and pack his lunch, make our warm drinks, and grab our Bibles.  He gets dressed and builds a fire (an immensely satisfying chore for most men, I am told).  Then we sit beside each other, eating our breakfasts, reading our Bibles, and just being together. I send him off with a hug, kiss, a God bless you and a wide awake I love you.  His mind has been fed by time in the word, his body has been fueled by a good breakfast, and he feels loved.  So much better!

When he comes home, he is more at peace and less weighed down by the things he has faced today.  His decompression time has been cut by more than 50%.  And his peacefulness is contagious.  I feel more relaxed and don't get worked up over minor details as quickly as I have in the recent past.  I feel more connected to him.  We feel like more of a team.  The children have responded by being more loving towards us and each other, and wanting to spend more time together.  All of this because I set my alarm clock back one and one half hour.  That is an amazing trade off, but I am not surprised.

I believe the Bible is true.  And if the Bible says do this and good things will happen, then I believe good things will happen.  But proving it to be so is amazingly encouraging!  I was not smart enough to realize what waking up could do for my spouse and our relationship, but God is, and by His mercy, I was blessed to find this nugget of truth in His word.  I can't wait to see and to share other blessings gained by obedience.  Pray for me, please, that I will have the wisdom and the strength to follow His way and not my own.  If so much can change just from waking up, what will other changes do for our home?  I can't wait to find out!!

KJV Proverbs 3:17  ...speaking of wisdom..."Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace."

A GIANT HURDLE

Tomorrow morning I will have a huge hurdle to leap if I want to get up at 5:00 am.

In about 25 minutes, 8 girls ranging in ages from 12-5 will be arriving at my house for a sleepover/party/rotating basketball practice. Two will not spend the night.  Two will leave at 4:45 pm for basketball practice and return a little after 6:00 pm.  My husband and our daughter (and probably a friend or two) will leave for ball practice at 5:45 pm and return shortly after 7:00 pm.  We have plans to paint fingers and toes....that could be 90 nails.  Pizza is for supper. (thank you HBON {that is what I call my husband})  I believe there are plans for a fashion show, crafts, and who knows what else.

After all of this excitement, HBON will leave (around 8:45 pm) to take the two who are not staying to their domiciles, and I will try to put my four year old little boy and 7 hyper girls to bed.  I expect this process to take some time.

And then I will go to bed, with my alarm set for 5:00 am.

We will see if I make it.

The hurdle looms large at the moment.

We will see.


P.S.  Anyone care to guess what HBON stands for?

5:00 am Every. Single. Day.

KJV Proverbs 24:30-34  "I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.  Then I saw, and considered it well:  I looked upon it, and received instruction. Yet a little sleep. a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:  So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man."


I like to sleep.  I mean, I REALLY like sleeping.  It might be one of my favorite activities.  I might like it more than chocolate.  So reading these verses made me uncomfortable.  I sleep too late.  I know it.  Yet there is a little voice in my head that excuses this bad habit.  I can hear it now. "You work hard.  You deserve that rest.  You will be in a better mood if you get your nap out.  Its not like sleeping is an ungodly activity.  Our bodies require rest. etc"

That voice is soooo seductive....and dangerous.

I haven't always been a late sleeper.  In fact, I was known as a morning person while growing up and in college.  I got up every morning with my husband when we were first married.  And then I had my first child. I did what every mamma of a newborn should do.  I slept when the baby slept, and I was up when the baby was up.  When the baby started sleeping more, so did I.  When she started to school, I got into a better routine of waking early, but then baby number two arrived.  And I slept, as much as I could, when the baby slept.  I woke when he woke.  And my darling husband fended for himself every morning, encouraging me to rest because he knew how draining babies can be.  But the baby is four and I am still sleeping in.  And then I run into these verses.  Sigh.

So baby step number one will be waking at 5:00 am.  Every.  Single.  Day.  No sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays.  The sleep experts say it is easier on the body to wake up at the same time every day.  So that is the plan.  5:00 am.  Every. Single. Day.

I know it will be better for my family.  I know it will be better for me.  I did this for one week a while back and it was a great week.  Then I listened to the voices, and slept in again..and again..and again.  But I don't want "want"  to bust into my life like an armed man busting into my house to steal what is valuable.  I don't want poverty to drop in for a visit as a traveler, or stick around like an unwanted guest.  And while this certainly applies to monetary things, it applies so much more to truly precious things like peace, order, love, and godliness.  Pray for me, if you would.  I am under no delusions about how difficult this task will be, but I believe if I take the step my life will be better.  I hope to share how it is better as I try to develop this good habit.

See you in the morning!