I had the chance yesterday to control my temper. I didn't. And I stirred up trouble for several people. I later realized my mistake, talked to all involved, and everything is smoothed out. It would have been so much better, and easier in the long run, if I had just counted to 100 before dealing with the latest situation dumped on me. It was easy to handle, once I quit whining about being the person to handle it. Anyway, I have a lot of work to do in this soft answer department. I scolded/encouraged (I think both of those things can happen at the same time) myself with reading 1Cor :13. It helped. These words stood out to me.
"Charity suffereth long, and is KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."
Not being easily provoked, bearing all things, being kind......exactly the traits involved in using soft answers to turn away wrath. Today is a new day, and perhaps I will do better with these additional verses in my head.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
A Soft Answer.....
My temper is the bane of my existence. I hate it. It is there all the time, bubbling under the surface, just waiting for an opportunity to erupt. It is a continual struggle to keep it under wraps, and all to often I lose that battle.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1KJV)
This Proverb condemns me every time I read it. Too often I have spoken grievous, angry, frustrated, hurtful words to my children and husband. I know that if I had instead chosen a soft answer , our home would be a more peaceful place. And I can blame no none but myself. I am an adult. I am blessed with a fully functioning mind and body. There is no excuse for my temper tantrums. No matter how annoying the interruptions of my children, no matter how defiant their behavior or inconvenient their request, they are children and I am an adult. It is my job to role model good behaviors for them. No matter how frustrating it is to repeat myself, or pick up the lost item that is in plain view, or listen to something that makes no sense to me, I have no excuse to be anything less than kind to my spouse. He has tenderly and graciously loved and cared for us for years. Kindness is the least I should show him.
And so this is my next baby step. I am going to try to make a concerted, extra, valiant effort to use soft answers when dealing with those nearest and dearest to me. I saw some fruit of this effort today. After my daughter comes home from school is always a trying time in our household. She has homework to do and news to share and requires some undivided attention. My son does not handle this well and acts worse and worse until I usually blow up and send him to his room. So today, when I felt the explosion coming, I sat down and gathered him into my lap. I told his sister to work independently for a few minutes, skipping anything that she needed help with, and rocked and sang to my son. This was the result:
Homework was finished in peace and quiet. He felt loved and important. I stayed calm. A soft answer turned away my wrath at being interrupted, my daughter's wrath at trying to think while being pestered, and his wrath at not having enough attention. One battle won.....millions to go. Please pray for me as I endeavor to make soft answers a habit.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1KJV)
This Proverb condemns me every time I read it. Too often I have spoken grievous, angry, frustrated, hurtful words to my children and husband. I know that if I had instead chosen a soft answer , our home would be a more peaceful place. And I can blame no none but myself. I am an adult. I am blessed with a fully functioning mind and body. There is no excuse for my temper tantrums. No matter how annoying the interruptions of my children, no matter how defiant their behavior or inconvenient their request, they are children and I am an adult. It is my job to role model good behaviors for them. No matter how frustrating it is to repeat myself, or pick up the lost item that is in plain view, or listen to something that makes no sense to me, I have no excuse to be anything less than kind to my spouse. He has tenderly and graciously loved and cared for us for years. Kindness is the least I should show him.
And so this is my next baby step. I am going to try to make a concerted, extra, valiant effort to use soft answers when dealing with those nearest and dearest to me. I saw some fruit of this effort today. After my daughter comes home from school is always a trying time in our household. She has homework to do and news to share and requires some undivided attention. My son does not handle this well and acts worse and worse until I usually blow up and send him to his room. So today, when I felt the explosion coming, I sat down and gathered him into my lap. I told his sister to work independently for a few minutes, skipping anything that she needed help with, and rocked and sang to my son. This was the result:
Homework was finished in peace and quiet. He felt loved and important. I stayed calm. A soft answer turned away my wrath at being interrupted, my daughter's wrath at trying to think while being pestered, and his wrath at not having enough attention. One battle won.....millions to go. Please pray for me as I endeavor to make soft answers a habit.
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